Expectations of other’s and not with oneself…
Why is this hardest thing we tend to deal with? We have such huge expectations of others but this is not healthy!!!
I am aware that it has been some time between writing my blogs,and as I do so now I am just putting it forward as my own experience and perhaps a note that may allow you to think or even to evaluate yourself, where your going, what direction are you heading in…anyway here goes and I hope it sheds some light on your train of thought….Why am I even writing about expectations, basically it’s because we all have them, but more so we have them of others and not ourselves.I will now move on and discuss why we do this and how we let ourselves down time and time again… Expectations from others rather then oneself…what does this really mean? It basically means that we conjure up a benchmark in our heads of what we expect from others and ultimately we set ourselves up for disappointment… Don’t get me wrong there is a difference between having goals and achieving them for yourself, that is personal expectations. The other in which I am talking about is the expectations you want and expect from others… What happens when we set expectations up in our heads and require them to be delivered by others?! Then what happens when they don’t quite go to plan because you either assumed or presumed that your expectations would be met… YOU get disappointed don’t you!
I know I would and I have, and I have learnt the hard way, yes like we all do… Difference is you either learn from it and move on never to project expectations on others again or you keep going back for the same old disappointment… Why do we do this? Again it starts from our childhood, you were always expected certain things from either your parents or teachers or whoever may have been your role model or caretakers…we were taught with expectations, so therefore we bring this into our adult life….it now has become a habit or just a part of who we are and in our heads it is expected that our expectations are meet because that is what was expected of us as children… We must stop with all these expectations….the only expectation you should have is the one you have for yourself and not from others…. You can’t rely on others to make you happy or to fill that void, nor require them to fulfill whatever it is that is missing in your life…you are responsible for yourself, your most important role in life is to be happy with yourself and not expect others to do this for you…. Once you have found your happiness, you stop living in fear because you stopped expecting from others, you have learnt to be accepting and respecting of the most important person and that is YOU…. There is a difference with learning to be humble within yourself then to beat yourself up…this all takes time and patience…find that peace within you, once you have successfully obtained this you then start thinking differently and honestly with yourself….you then stop projecting your fears onto others which is your own expectations(ego based)and you learn to stop blaming others for your own disappointments… What will be will be…the universe is strong in all her power, project positive out to her and don’t be surprised when good things work out in the end….remember it’s all part of your way of thinking…:-) YOU have the choice and will always hold that power….
I know that hardest thing is to change habits, and to change habits is to change your train of thought..you hear a lot of the time that it’s all too hard, life is hard, but wait, it’s only hard because you allow it to be hard and its your own perception of what hard is, it’s the expectation in which you have created with yourself from past habits….
Is it hard to say ok here’s a new challenge and I am going to give it all I got, change of thought then creates change of attitude, you choose your attitude, attitude does not choose you.
Expect more from yourself and allow yourself to go outside the boundaries in order for you to learn that old habits can die and it’s not that hard…
Just a note that I wanted to add on top of all of this so you have a better understanding,when you start to become more humble and accepting of yourself, you then overflow with happiness which remember what I said, what you project and manifest will attract the same energy back, this is where the beautiful people in your life add to your happiness in your life and support the person that you are, its a result of not having any expectations from them in the first place that makes it all the more profound.
I will go on with the last part of this in my next blog….
Written by Elizabeth Pozoglou © 2010