We spend most of our daily lives with other people, being mother or father, sister or brother, friend or neighbor, wife or husband, employee or colleague. There are so many roles we have to play. The day is filled with different responsibilities and duties, and it is getting harder to find time for yourself. It is so easy to forget about yourself in daily rush.

Enjoying life and being successful starts with having a good relationship with yourself. Spending time with yourself, noticing your best parts and weaknesses is a chance to see the light within and around, to move forward to what you really want.

Here are some reasons why you should remember yourself and sometimes say NO to others and YES to yourself.

1. Stop the daily rush.

Being alone and doing something for yourself is a great way to stop the daily rush. No matter what it is—having a nice cup of coffee, having a long walk in woods, sitting on the bench in a park and looking at the sun, fishing, cooking—whatever makes you feel happy and smile. Just take a pause of daily habits and give yourself the true gift of being alive.

2. Calm your mind.

Your mind is always busy with duties, responsibilities and worries. You stress about being on time, what to cook for dinner, planning your next trip, or gives you need to buy. The list is endless. When you are alone and your thoughts are about how to make yourself happy or how to enjoy time and smile, worries and never-ending thoughts begin to disappear. And when you come back to those things you can really enjoy doing them. You can see new, unusual solutions, you can admit that sometimes things resolve themselves, and the only thing you have to do is to let them be, to let them go and let Universe deal with it.

3. Set up new goals and see how to achieve them.

During your alone time, you can think about your dreams, set up new goals, see what you really want in your life and make a plan with clear steps to achieve them.

4. Notice your true feelings and get to know yourself better.

Wearing different kinds of masks is like hiding your true being and not being honest to yourself and others. When you are alone, you can notice your true feelings—exhaustion, tiredness, stress, insecurity, happiness—whatever it is, it is good to know them to be able to change within.

5. Listen to your inner voice.

When your mind is calm, when there is no rush, you can hear your inner voice. You have time to listen to yourself, to discover your dreams, to believe in yourself and focus on your beauty.

6. Feel grateful.

When you are alone, it is easier to feel grateful. When you stop your daily rush and step out of the daily duties and never-ending needs, you can take some time and look at your life and see how many things you have. Appreciate your life and smile. Say thank you. Being grateful has a subtle energy and the more often you feel it, the more calmer you will be, and greater things will happen in your life.

7. Connect with nature.

Spending time in nature, receiving and enjoying the harmony, tranquility and oneness of it, you fill yourself with pure energies. It helps you to balance your feelings and it cleanses your thoughts. Nature heals you.

8. Renew your energy.

It is a time to renew your inner energy, to recharge yourself.

9. Love yourself.

Giving yourself some alone time is the best way of loving yourself. Love within creates more love outside you and gives you what you want in the best way possible.

10. Have faith.

When you have spent time with yourself, filled yourself with energy, smiled, felt grateful, and nourished your soul with nature, your faith in yourself, in life, and in the universe will grow. You will have faith that you can achieve anything, faith in your own success. Anything and everything is possible.

To find time for alone, to think what to do and spend some time with yourself is a brave step. It is always a challenge to be who you are. But there is always a question at the end of the day—did you really enjoy your day? Is there anything you want to do but can’t find time for?

What you will do next weekend?

May each day be the day you were reborn in silence and faith!

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”

—Paulo Coelho

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Communication is a key part to building a healthy relationship. The first step is making sure you both want and expect the same things—being on the same page is very important. The following tips can help you create and maintain a healthy relationship:

Speak Up. In a healthy relationship, if something is bothering you, it’s best to talk about it instead of holding it in.
Respect Your Partner. Your partner’s wishes and feelings have value. Let your significant other know you are making an effort to keep their ideas in mind. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.
Compromise. Disagreements are a natural part of healthy relationships, but it’s important that you find a way to compromise if you disagree on something. Try to solve conflicts in a fair and rational way.
Be Supportive. Offer reassurance and encouragement to your partner. Also, let your partner know when you need their support. Healthy relationships are about building each other up, not putting each other down.
Respect Each Other’s Privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to share everything and constantly be together. Healthy relationships require space.
Healthy Boundaries
Creating boundaries is a good way to keep your relationship healthy and secure. By setting boundaries together, you can both have a deeper understanding of the type of relationship that you and your partner want. Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship.

Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to:

Go out with your friends without your partner.
Participate in activities and hobbies you like.
Not have to share passwords to your email, social media accounts or phone.
Respect each other’s individual likes and needs.
Healthy Relationship Boosters
Even healthy relationships can use a boost now and then. You may need a boost if you feel disconnected from your partner or like the relationship has gotten stale. If so, find a fun, simple activity you both enjoy, like going on a walk, and talk about the reasons why you want to be in the relationship. Then, keep using healthy behaviors as you continue dating.

If you’re single (and especially if you’re a single parent), don’t worry if you need a boost too! Being single can be the best and worst feeling, but remember relationships don’t just include your significant other and you. Think about all the great times you’ve had with your parents, siblings, friends, children, other family members, etc..

Try going out with the people you love and care about the most — watch movies together, go out to eat, take a day off from your busy life and just enjoy being you! If it helps, also talk about your feelings about the relationships in your life. If you just want them to listen, start by telling them that. Then ask what makes relationships good and what makes them bad?

And don’t forget, the relationship you can always boost up is the one you have with yourself!

What Isn’t a Healthy Relationship?
Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other negative, abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind.

If you think your relationship is unhealthy, it’s important to think about your safety now. Consider these points as you move forward:

Understand that a person can only change if they want to. You can’t force your partner to alter their behavior if they don’t believe they’re wrong.
Focus on your own needs. Are you taking care of yourself? Your wellness is always important. Watch your stress levels, take time to be with friends, get enough sleep. If you find that your relationship is draining you, consider ending it.
Connect with your support systems. Often, abusers try to isolate their partners. Talk to your friends, family members, teachers and others to make sure you’re getting the emotional support you need.

Think about breaking up. Remember that you deserve to feel safe and accepted in your relationship.
Even though you cannot change your partner, you can make changes in your own life to stay safe. Consider leaving your partner before the abuse gets worse. Whether you decide to leave or stay, make sure to use our safety planning tips to stay safe.

There are people who cannot love someone outside of their immediate family. They may adore their children and parents, but they feel unstable when emotions for another person rise within their hearts. They may want a relationship, but they are too scared to make a commitment.

This commitment-phobia may be due to an earlier trauma. It could be from an abusive relationship with a relative. If this has happened to you, trusting again is something you may not be ready for.

When someone you love or are connected to betrays you, the healing process is a deep one and can take some time. There is a disconnect between your feelings and what you believe life is supposed to be like. When something devastating occurs, your ability to see the world as kind may be shattered and you find yourself always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For some, the fear of being responsible for another person is overwhelming. They do not have the ability to take care of anyone else because they are too busy simply keeping their own world together. But just like goldfish, people grow according to the size of their bowl. If you keep your life very controlled and don’t make room for other people, you could be missing out on the one thing that can make it all worthwhile: love.

Commitment-phobia can also take the form of confusing excitement with anxiety. When this happens, many people wind up ending something before it even begins. You may feel nervous in the anticipation of meeting someone new, and then read that feeling as anxiousness when it is really one of exhilaration. This kind of confusion may mean you throw in the towel before you’ve even met the other person. Be aware that anxiety and excitement feel the same to the body.

There are many reasons to avoid getting emotionally involved with another person. You just need to ask yourself if your reasons are good ones and why you may be holding yourself back from allowing someone to touch your heart.

I know that you could get hurt, but don’t let that keep you from giving yourself the gift of love. Yes, you can avoid a bunch of pain that comes with every relationship, but you won’t get any of the goodies either.

Every time we open our hearts to a person, place, or thing, we take the risk of being let down. However, to stay closed off is only going to make your life smaller and seemingly safer. The truth is that you have the keys to make your world whatever you want it to be. It has been said that the gates to hell are locked from the inside. Let yourself be free—open your self-imposed prison and walk through this life with an open heart.

If you have been hurt, you can love again. Also trust that you have the good sense to walk away from someone with toxic behaviors and let a good person stroll into your life and heart.

It’s 5:30 am, and your alarm goes off. You open your eyes, and your mind starts racing. Meetings, conference calls and project deadlines all loom. Why is there always so much to do and never enough time to get it done? You grab your phone and scroll through your notifications as you walk into the shower, half awake. Knowing she’s not up, you send her a text message: “Good morning, baby. I hope you have a wonderful day.” This text serves as two reminders: You want her to know she’s the first thing on your mind. And, more importantly, she needs to realize that, regardless of how stressful or busy your days are, she’s the priority. It sounds so perfect, but that’s not reality. Instead, you’ll log into Instagram or Facebook, nosing into everyone else’s life, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll send that text to your woman on the way to work. Relationships these days lack direction. People “date,” but what the hell does that even mean anymore? Is it hanging out twice a month? Texting all day? Kissing here and there? Something is missing. What’s causing relationships to falter at the rate they are? Relationships thrive on communication. Our most intimate emotions are reserved for the person we love, so how is it acceptable to never show them? We’ve accepted so many unacceptable things: sitting at the dinner table with our phones out, arguing over text, publishing every minute of our lives on social media. Do you know what trumps all that? That society has accepted relationships in which we are being cheated on every day. When you think of cheating in the traditional sense, having sex with another person comes to mind. It’s an intimate situation in which the person you love is connecting with another while you are going about your life, loving and caring for said person. Once you find out, all trust is lost. But think about the concept for a minute. Webster’s Dictionary defines cheating as the deprivation of “something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud.” Sure, sex is cheating and may be the most hurtful case, but have you ever stopped to think you’re being cheated out of your relationship every day? We experience a lack of communication, attention, passion, intimacy and even lack of love. Why are we okay with this and all the communication shortcuts that have become so common? This type of cheating causes much more damage than that of any sexual affair. You’ve given your heart to someone and love him or her with every bone in your body, but you have to beg for his or her attention. You sit back and watch this person post status updates about useless things, or post pictures just so people can comment. You need to take a minute to tell her she’s beautiful. Call her after work to say, “Get dressed in 30 minutes. I’m picking you up and taking you somewhere special.” Make an effort. Old-fashioned love needs to make another round. The days of holding hands, opening the car door, taking her out “just because,” sending her flowers just to get a smile and leaving her notes on her car should never be gone. We have to be children when it comes to love. We have to be vulnerable and free. That can’t happen when we’re preoccupied with the details of everyone else’s lives. Focus on each other. When it’s all said and done, that’s all you really have. Appreciate her, and show her how much she means to you. But, most importantly, put your phone down, and dial into what’s in front of you.

She’s coming into her power…

She spent years not realizing who she was.
She doubted her beauty, her intelligence and her power.
She was one who always felt that she didn’t quite belong
because when she came into this life, her ties to the world of spirit remained far too strong..

She was confused and lost throughout her youth, unable to see herself much less accept and appreciate herself.
As a result she was like a ship bobbing in the ocean without a rudder and without the sails of confidence to direct her towards her own promised land.

She was one who bereft of her own acceptance, hungered for it and searched for it through relationships with others.
She was a people pleaser as a result,
she would not risk confrontation in order to support herself,
she succumbed to being influenced by the opinions of others even though she had already received her instruction from within.
She allowed her truth to be sublimated,
she allowed herself to be controlled…
Her need to be accepted and loved was such that she wasn’t prepared to step on or over any toes.

It took her years of being taken for granted,
ruled and overlooked before she put two and two together,
had enough and got the message.
Her suffering forced her to step out of the status quo that had always been too tight for her in the first place…
she became an avid seeker, searching for answers…
She needed to know who she was, she needed to know why she was here.
She needed to find a way to free herself from fear

She travelled far and wide,
She sat at the feet of a master,
She became a Yogini of an ancient lineage
and applied the teachings to her life,
She grew strong,
She awakened her heart
She awakened her shakti,
Her third eye opened as a result…
Her potentials started to be unearthed rapidly because the veils had parted and she recognized who she was,
She also recognized who everyone else was behind their socialized facade
and because she had seen through the myth of idealized perfection,
she could appreciate the actual perfection of the imperfections in herself and in others that she had once resisted and rejected.

Today she walks with conscious awareness..
she no longer labels people as good or bad,
She interprets everything as fluctuating energy without a fixed assignment.
She holds space for the confusion of others because she’s been there and she still visits that place herself
she understands their hunger for love misappropriated as selfishness, jealousy and competition…
She feels their vulnerability as she feels her own…
She knows the fear reflected in their eyes through her own past terror…
But underneath all of it she can see the obscured light,
the presence of God/dess despite all the protective armor…
She’s aware of this same divine presence vibrating in her body and in her heart…
She’s not so quick to cast judgment anymore because she knows that she is not above those that she is tempted to judge…
she knows that she is not separate
And because she gives herself permission to be herself as she is,
she can accept others as they are with appreciation and compassion …

She’s not invested in changing anyone either,
she respects everyone’s chosen path because
she understands that every soul is doing exactly what they need to do in order to evolve
So it is not her place to save anyone from their own lessons…
She reveals, heals, inspires and encourages instead,
she reminds others of their forgotten divinity…
She holds up a mirror so that they can see God/dess reflected back…
She has become a midwife for the re-emergence of the Divine Feminine soul.

The shy, timid maiden has transformed into the courageous, outspoken mother of all…
She says it as she sees it confidently without shrinking back,
She’s fiercely protective of the helpless,
She’s A torch for those lost in darkness,
and she’s not afraid to take a stand for peace and love to flourish in this world…
if someone tries to persuade her against her own knowing she simply and graciously responds, “Thank you for sharing.”
and she walks away…
Because she trusts her “self”,
She knows that she is Divine Mother embodied..

She is Artemis of the wild merged with…
compassionate tara and warrior Durga…
She has traversed the journey of Inanna into the dark underworld and emerged in possession of her kingdom
She knows why she is here and she’s fulfilling her purpose..
She’s not alone, she’s among many
who have chosen to return bearing love as their message,
their path and their gift of healing. ॐ ❤

“Every Time You Go”

Every time you go
Every time you go.

It starts with a picture,
And it sits in your frame.
And we part with a letter,
And it ends in my name.

And it starts with forever,
And it ends with a touch.
And I know that you’re clever,
And I don’t ask for much.

Maybe we forgot all the things we are, we are together.

You said I’m arresting,
You said I had heat.
I really thought that we’d go further
The second time we meet.

Now I’m tired of trying to keep you.
All I want to do is sleep.
And perhaps, when I’m sleeping,
You’ll get back on your feet.

Maybe we forgot all the things we are, we are together.

Wake me up,
Wake me up.
Stop my fall,
Every time you go.

Tape me up
Then break me up
Ever so gently,
When I’m at my weakest.

It’s not so hard
Every time you go.

I run a mount to meet you
When I knew a storm had come
I felt the rain on your face
And the damage you had done.

I know what you’re thinking.
It will never be the end.
And when the storm is over,
You won’t see me again.

Didn’t know the price I paid for all the times I stayed
When we were together.

Wake me up,
Wake me up.
Stop my fall,
Every time you go.

Tape me up
Then break me up
Ever so gently,
When I’m at my weakest.

It’s not so hard

Maybe we forgot, are we awake or not?
Maybe we forgot, are we awake or not?
Maybe we forgot, are we awake or not?
Or maybe we forgot.

Wake me up,
Wake me up.
Stop my fall,
Every time you go.

Tape me up
Then break me up
Ever so gently,
When I’m at my weakest.

Wake me up,
Wake me up.
Stop my fall,
Every time you go.

Tape me up
Then break me up
Ever so gently,
When I’m at my weakest.

It’s not so hard
Every time you go.

The One Who Cares Less

I’ve often heard that people only start wanting you when they think that you don’t want them. It’s true; I’ve lived by it. Whether its business or friendships or especially romantic relationships, the person who cares less always seems to be the person who has the most power. At least that’s what it might feel like for the person that cares more. But I question whether this is true or not.

I have been called the, “queen of not giving a shit.” One of my many talents is that I am really good at both not actually caring, as well as acting like I don’t care. Just yesterday, some girlfriends and I were talking about boys and I quoted Almost Famous as my romance mantra, “If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt.” And it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve ultimately come off as cynical about relationships. People think it stems from really not caring; on the contrary, it stems from the fear of caring too much.

I know how to be the person who doesn’t text back, who doesn’t call back, who waits for the guy to make the first move, and who acts like I couldn’t care less whether he does or he doesn’t. Being this person comes natural to me because I have convinced myself that being the other person comes with too much potential damage. And I do think to an extent it does. I may have truly had my heart broken, and I’ve known people who have; I’ve been there for them and they for me. And that shit isn’t fun. It’s depressing and devastating and oftentimes a really long journey to returning to being okay.

But the thing is I think people who put themselves out there; people who let you know they care a lot – I think that they have the right idea. I think the human heart especially when it’s young, is really resilient. I think that the journey to being okay when one’s heart has been broken is a journey that is usually worth facing even when love hasn’t done what you wanted. But when you’re the one who cares less, who apparently doesn’t care at all, you’ll never go on this journey because you’ll convince yourself that you don’t need to. You convince yourself that you’re fine even when you’re not.

What people don’t seem to realize about the person who cares less or acts like they care less is that they’re usually the one who ends up being hurt the most or hurting the most. It is human nature to want love and to want to be taken care of and to want to take care of someone else. To deny that, is simply to deny one’s humanity. Being the “queen of not giving a shit” doesn’t make one healthier or stronger or wiser or cooler or even happier. It just makes you feel less human. It makes you feel less and less.

When it’s all said and done, even people who are perfectly lonely and perfectly alone – still need their person. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a good friend, a loyal family member – everybody needs a person. And the truth is if you act like you don’t care enough, people will eventually start to believe you. So if you feel like you care too much or feel too much or love too much, remember that the alternative is worse. We should all try to seek balance because virtue is that middle ground between any two extremes. But when it comes to love, I don’t know if there is such a thing as loving too much or showing that you love too much. And if there is, I think it’s commendable; not something to be ashamed of. Because if you don’t tell people and show people that you do care, that you do have feelings for them, that you do love them, how the hell are they supposed to know?

So I suppose you can go through life thinking that eventually someone will break down all the walls that you’ve put up, because you don’t want anyone to know how much you can care; how much you can love. But life is short and people are busy. And maybe when the right person comes along, maybe they’ll see right through you. Maybe. But if you keep telling yourself that you don’t care, maybe you’ll also start believing it and you won’t even be able to see your person when you find them. So get out while you can and start giving a shit; and if your heart breaks, let it break. Because it’ll be okay. You will be okay.