The narcissist is very capable of telling solicitors, police and courthouses exactly whatever lies they want to, in order to try to punish you, get the upper hand and win, project blame, create smear campaigns, play the victim as if they have been vilified (especially when things aren’t going well for him or her), and of course disregard any personal accountability for his or her unacceptable behaviour.
When you see the blatant lies unravel under your nose, you will initially be shocked. People who enter into relationships with personality disordered individuals usually have a high level of integrity, and as such, you may feel incredibly shattered when you think, How on earth could I have ever been in a relationship with this person?
Your anguish is: How on earth does someone behave like THAT? Especially someone I was having a LOVE relationship with?
Your whole sense of moving on and forward may be pulled into the narcissistic muck – the pathological “stink,” – because your emotions feel so polluted by the unfathomable lies and acts that this person creates.
What Else Would You Expect?
You know you have been subjected to the ridiculous conversations where the narcissist refused to remain topical, refused to answer questions, and would bring in absurd examples and allies to thrust down your throat with all the logic of an angry five-year-old.
You know that they have created untruths and smear campaigns against you in the past, and continually breaks his or her word, drags up information from the past (that he or she professed to be resolved with), and is never happy to live and reside in the now without projecting inner emptiness and torment onto you and making his or her inner demons your fault.
You know this person has a capacity to lie and falsify documentation and has told you how he or she has done this in the past to try to gain the upper hand, secure a deal or manipulate a situation.
You know that this person had no respect for integrity or karma at those times, and thought they were entitled to behave like this – regardless of committing fraud, breaking the law, or how it affected the integrity of an organisation or the reputation of other individuals.
You know this person is capable of faking situations, illnesses, and injuries in order to try and gain sympathy or detract from the real issues at hand.
You know this person is paranoid about being lined up and attacked and will resort to any lengths – criminal or pathological – to “defend” themselves, “one-up” the situation, and believe that the ends justifies the means.
So truly WHY should this be a surprise?
Narcissists are a false self – and therefore don’t have a conscience when it comes to lying. Their life is a scripted illusion of the fantasy and high acclaim they like to believe they are living, which is completely different from how they truly feel about themselves on an inner level.
When the walls crumble between the illusion and the reality, the narcissist resorts to more scripted lies to try and offset his or her narcissist injury of being exposed to the world for what he or she really is – a person without real substance.
I promise you the ability to lie is a self-inbuilt survival mechanism. You see, narcissists don’t believe the truth serves them. They don’t believe they are lovable and acceptable as they are, and they carry immense shame for the way they have to operate. As such, more lies are needed to cover up the previous lies; otherwise, the narcissist would have to face the truth of who they really are – and they will avoid that at all costs.
The narcissist’s lies are not personal – their lack of integrity and conscience has nothing to do with you, your life, and the creation of your truth.
What you are seeing is a gift; it is confirming to you the relief of knowing that you are getting this person out of your life. The relief of knowing there is no lost love with a person who has the ability to be a pathological liar, and this behaviour is something that decent people with mature and healthy emotional intelligence just don’t do.
To gain a greater understanding of what you are dealing with/or have been dealing with AND how to find relief and a healing solution to move forward in your life – sign up for my free 16 Day Recovery Course – https://bit.ly/35RfJYE.
Why? because you deserve to have a Thriver’s life – it’s your birthright.
written by Melanie Tonia Evans
Much love xo ❤️